Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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