Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
