Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
