Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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