is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize