mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
