This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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