There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
