I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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