lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
