the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
