Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
