Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Jerry, you need to find god
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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