think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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