Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
