Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
