Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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