its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So much rum. So many feels.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
