I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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