I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
babies were throwing up all over the place
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
