He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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