i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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