he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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