Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
