I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
