u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
