I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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