But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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