Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
