Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
and you fell through a lawn chair
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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