You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
