I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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