Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
