His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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