Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
