Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
