Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
