this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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