WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
