You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
