i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
