Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
