Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
