I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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