So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
organizing the empties. That sober.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
