bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't deserve a penis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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