No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
