So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
