just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
