Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
