doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
